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Weddings are meant to be joyous celebrations, but too often they turn into the quest for perfection. It is impossible to have a “perfect wedding”, and it will be the tiny mishaps that you will chuckle at for years to come; the cake top that you spent two months finding, only to leave it at home; the first dance with “your song”-that isn’t; the hastily bought gold colored wedding bands because the jeweler closed before you could pick up your beautiful matching rings. Each of these can be traumatic moments that can spoil an otherwise wonderful day, or you can take them in stride, wowing everyone with your class act, adaptability and sense of humor.

By realizing that your wedding day is one big party that should be fun, you can let go of some obsessions; ribbons on the favors that do not perfectly match your attendants’ dresses-even though you hand them out yourself; the wrong flavor tier being cut first on your four different flavored tier wedding cake; the last minute substitution by your florist because Lily of the Valley was unavailable.

Relieve the burden of stress by hiring a consultant or asking your attendants or your relatives to take over certain parts of the planning, such as the decorations, song selections, or making the favors. They will feel useful and their creativity will amaze you, since they will only have one task to complete. Turn over any planning that your fiancé might enjoy. Let him select the music if he is musically inclined, and he is certainly capable of picking out his own tuxedo; after all his choice of a wife was pretty astute. If you sense that your fiancé is becoming bored with all the wedding plans, escape with him to the beach for a day. Next week whisk him away to a dinner out and a movie or play. Vow not to mention the wedding plans during this “time out.” Take this special time to plan your marriage with the same determination and intensity that you plan your wedding.
 

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